Mommy Melt Down

No one understands that even the strongest people sometimes breakdown even tho I’ve been doing well and trying to stay focused reading up on lots of knowledge that’s needed. I endured some bad news a few days ago I woke up in great spirits and ready for the day and challenges I had coming my way and I myself don’t do well when I feel overwhelmed. I tend to pull away and stay to myself until I’m back to feeling like I’m ready to deal with people again and that’s a very bad habit to have. Sometimes people don’t understand or may think I become distant but in so many ways I just shut down until I feel like I’ve solved the problem.

Being a single mother a lot of times I get over whelmed with daily life getting up at 5:30am every morning to get the kids ready for school to making sure my toddler is content through out the day while doing housework and handling business until the kids return home around 3pm. Which then allows me a little more free time to get things done in the house while the older kids entertain my toddler. We have 4pm homework time and every hour after that is scheduled until 9pm which is their bedtime and even though I have a schedule that helps it still seems like there is just not enough time in the day to do it all my self.

19ec175995cd407166a04ab606e29306I often feel like I’m gonna leave someone behind or not get something done so I over work my self trying to focus on it all not giving myself a chance to breathe. I’ve learned that no one can do it all alone but being that I am without that option I tend to usually over work my self into exhaustion. So being emotional doesn’t help when there’s no time to focus on others problems being who I am I’ve learned to let go of a lot of things and very easy. I look for signs often whether it’s in a person or a situation I feel may go wrong I now tend to go the other way. When you learn that negativity can block so many blessings you’ll have a very easy mindset and be able to tend to lean more towards positive people or situations.

I’ve started reading lots of books lately and watching videos as well as seminars on life which gives me knowledge to grow my surroundings. I’ve also began a vision board to help set my ultimate goals and dreams in place to make sure I stay on track everyday and maintain a positive and healthy mindset. I have also placed my self around more positive wealthy people that encourages me everyday to reach higher standards and often I still seem to fall short with a mental breakdown trying to take it all in.

So like they say even the strongest people need to breakdown every once in a while and the worst part about being strong is that no one ever ask if your ok.

D’Estin Perry

Dangerously In Love

Have you ever been in love so deep that you’d give your all to a person not realizing that person wouldn’t give the same in return? Have you ever loved someone so deep everything that went wrong in your relationship you thought was your fault? Have you ever tried to change who you were to satisfy someone else’s needs? Have you ever put someone else first before yourself even your children thinking it was love?

After so many years of realizing it wasn’t me it was too late id have to deal with this person the rest of my life. It was an emotional roller coaster up and down back and forth it was times I wouldn’t eat couldn’t sleep my mind would constantly be racing trying to figure out the problem in my relationship. You can almost say we were separated more than we were together but the show he would put on for Facebook seemed like nothing was wrong at all. Everyone thought I was so happy and we looked so good together not realizing how small I was or the type of tears id shed at any giving moment.

The person id met was not by all means the person he had become with in a few short months id seen signs but ignored them like usual I didn’t analyze the situation at all I was so fragile at the time trying to find away out of my last relationship. He’d come to me and said “I got you ill never let him do anything to you again” hell I was so impressed it was like a night and shining armor had walked into my life and boy did he play his role had my head gone. He was doing things no man had ever done running bath water brining flowers cooking dinner taking walks he had even put a little sign in the fridge asking to marry him and talked about it all the time.

He was busy doing things like that I missed the signs for one they say the same way you get them is the same way you’ll lose them and yet it was the truth. Here I was thinking he was gods gift until his kids mother reached out decided she wanted to talk seeing how I was raising her kids I didn’t see why not yea I said I see someone can take as many pictures as they want but after the picture is taken what happens to the rest of the time. So she would stop by or call my phone quite frequently and I didn’t feel like it was a big deal until she started telling me the ends and outs and I must say it all sounded so familiar he wasn’t anything special after all the same things he did for me he did for her only thing was he hadn’t really left yet.

So moving on things still were the same for a while and I kept in touch with her to until shit started becoming more and more obvious all the Facebook tagging sending pictures to his phone random text messages them talking for long periods at a time yea I wasn’t a fool things began to get rocky. All the cheating and finding out things id just blow it off because it was an image I was so in love with showing the world how happy I was I couldn’t let anyone know it wasn’t working out and yet I ignored the signs. Id been warned about the things he had done to other females but I ignored them as well until I found my feet dangling from the ground and my kids at the top of the steps yelling and crying “please stop” or the time I was drug down a flight of stairs and out to the car only to take off as I’m holding on.

But again I ignored the signs even to the point of him not liking my son he would always get upset whenever I picked him up would yell at me telling me I was holding him to much wouldn’t let him sleep or lay with me at all. Yea my baby was a bit of a crier but he even started making me put him in a room in the crib and make him cry his self to sleep often id find myself doing this even when he wasn’t home. Id started hearing stories he was telling his friends he would put my son in the dryer when I wasn’t home to scar him but I never believed that at all. I felt the tension but tried to convince my self it was my baby I was loosing myself as a mother putting a man first and not realizing it at the time. There was a time he came in and we started fighting he’d through a set of keys that hit the wall and cut my baby in the face and as he walked out after looking at my son bleeding I then knew every feeling id felt was wrong.

Things only began to get worse at this point and I just went on with my life letting it take its course one day we were together the next he was telling the world I was a crazy monster. But the thing I didn’t understand was why he wanted someone so crazy to have his child mind-boggling huh?. We ended up braking up for good june 10 2013  and what do you know I was pregnant and down hill I went I was in position to buy a house and had been looking for a while I had gotten to sick and ended up going to stay with his mother for a while to save a little more money and find something before the baby came.

Man oh man it only got worse as the time went on he’d come by in the middle of the night popping up whenever he felt like it would lay right up under my ass only to get up and post a pic with his new girlfriend the next morning shit was crazy I honestly think I was brainless at this time. Until I got the call from the new chick crying about what he had done to her and only for the story to sound so similar I chuckled asking her what it was she wanted me to in reply she hung up after that.

Things went on and my pregnancy had gotten real it was finally time january 27 2014 I got up at 4am it was a blizzard outside didn’t feel like shoveling my truck out so got the car ready got all the kids grabbed my bag and headed to take the kids to the daycare only to get stuck in the snow for 2 hours. I was in labor stuck calling everyone I could even him until some mexican came and pulled my car out I dropped the kids off and headed to hospital. I got settled and called his mom she walked in with his sister right on time I had began to push no sign of him anywhere she cut my baby’s cord and then here he comes walking in the door.

Felt like a dark cloud had come in he didn’t stay long just enough time to get a picture and was out the door. Even though my son was his twin he still told the same story “he wasn’t his and he wanted a blood test” my emotions were threw the roof the next day after having him I had to leave the hospital the nurses thought I was crazy  and didn’t want to sign my release so I grabbed my baby packed my stuff went to the daycare picked up my other kids and went home.

Needless to say their were so many chain of events that took place over the next few years to the world I was created into this crazy bitter baby momma that I wasn’t. Id given him fame from my name bringing him to the surface now everyone wanted to join the wave to see what the ride was like not stopping to look at the bigger picture of the chain of events that was and had been taking place. No one noticed the patterns he had and how many times it changed up but all they knew was Facebook and the entertainment that was being displayed.

One thing I learned from it is that a real man would never bash the mother of his children no matter the relationship they have a real man will never give another woman the power to bring down his child’s mother or put her in harm’s way knowing she has his child or children a real man would never need Facebook or the world to justify his life by trying to gain assurance from others. Now ask yourself this I often here the bitter baby momma story but is there a such thing as a bitter baby daddy?

to be continued…………………………………………………..

D’Estin Perry

Sunday Funday

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CHORE CHART FOR THE WEEK

You already know what that means house work while music playing  food cooking and getting ready for the week. This week things start to get rough but the schedule will still be in place the boys got football practice dance practice and a few more extra activities not even including things I have to do. It’s almost like I look back sometimes and wonder how did I get through that week but knowing I’m blessed and put him first keeps me going.
I’ve got a great blessing in the making and still can’t believe it but I’ve always said he had something for me but just didn’t know what it was. So many doors have began to open up for me since my move and just recently I had an issue with my truck I had been trying to get it resolved. Id bought a vehicle from a janky car place in Indiana before I moved and had a few issues with getting paperwork done on it and Id been without a vehicle for a few weeks.

Can you imagine being without a vehicle living in Atlanta yea I know right it’s almost impossible. Well to make a long story short a blessing came right on time someone id met a while ago prior to moving here called me and said hey I got something I want you to see so I went by and he’d bought me a new vehicle only for me to be surprised id never had anyone do anything and not to that nature for me and my boys. So when I say blessings on top of blessings its time to take heed what he’s doing for me I’ve got a clear mind and have let go of so much negativity and I feel great about it all.

When god is showing you signs be sure not to miss them pay attention to them all and count every blessing letting go of negativity and hate will often open up more room for your blessings to have. Remind yourself daily of the value you carry and the worth you hold as well as never settling for anything or lowering your standards for your happiness. My past defines who I’ve become and how strong I am I was born to battle and won many wars and just over come the biggest battle Id thought Id had yet. Only for me to realize it was all a test  run to insure for the next season .

I feel like nothing but greatness is on its way and I’m ready to receive it all with open arms and a clear mind. Just when I thought 2016 had been the worst for  me he reminded me that it wasn’t over yet and the best was yet to come. My breakthrough is now the moment Id been living for is here and I couldn’t be more happy. So as always stay encouraged never give up and once you ask you must believe to be able to receive stay blessed everyone happy sunday.

             D’Estin Perry

Football Mom

It’s that time a year again were super excited even though my boys are in a new city it still time to turn up the heat!!. Never in a million years would I think I would be running up and down the sideline yelling for my boys to get the touchdown but trust me I was always one of the loudest ones there never missing a game. I still have yet to fully understand the game but long as my babies are on the field I’m willing to learn every step of the way. My oldest son started playing for the cowboys when he was 6 he was so small his pants came to his ankles and his helmet was so big mind you everything was extra small lol.

11986350_1053636934649261_7811308022231521054_nHe didn’t play much his first year but by the next he was hitting hard one of smallest fastest kids on the team it was something about him running that ball I called him butter fingers was scared to get hit but would smack someone in a heart beat. By his 3rd year he got the MVP for best defensive player you couldn’t tell him nothing.

 

Wasn’t to long before my next baby was gearing up to touch the field  I don’t think they were ready for this one my boy has a heart of a lion with no fear when it comes to getting that ball down that filed. I was a little scared at first because he’s bit of the quite type but was shocked once I seen my boy out there ea11993281_1053494197996868_6832017567577585015_nting like he was born to do it. my baby played his heart out each game and every time I looked up I heard six eight yelling “THERE GOES MR PERRY”. By his second year he had his MVP award for best offensive player.

The cowboys were amazing to work with and I tip my hat to the men for all the help and encouragement they gave to my boys being a single mom not missing one gave or hardly a practice it was noting but respect from the men stepping up in the way they did to keep these young men off the street and focused. My boys looked forward to this time a year and was sad to go just know they will continue to eat all across the board while caring the knowledge they’ve  been given already.

Nothing will change I’m sure ill be the loudest mom out there yelling for my boys every step of the way its nothing like seeing your kids accomplish things and have fun while doing so. This is only the beginning I still have many years to go being that I’m a mother with 5 men I’m sure ill learn the game sooner than later until then ill be on the sideline yelling “THATS MY BABY”. I often tell my boys we finish where we start even though we had to move we will forever be  COWBOYS. Were yelling all the way to Fort Wayne good luck to our team this season COWBOY-NATION!!!!!!!!!!.

D’Estin Perry

Jack Of All Trades

When it comes to talent I feel like mines is endless I was blessed with creativity I’ve always been known to do a number of things some better than others but there’s not much I can’t do. Now don’t get me wrong there’s often a down fall to this its very hard to focus in on just one thing when I know in my mind I’m capable of doing 5 things or more. I’m often told I should focus on one and master it but what some fail to realize in my situation being gifted in many areas is hard to train your mind to do just one.

I’m known for doing hair I was born and raised in the salon my mom was a cosmetologist as well and also lots of known family members to. I started doing hair around the age of 8 and started generating income braiding by the time I was 10 being that I never got a chance to graduate I received my ged and enrolled in beauty school in 2010. I graduated in 2012 and opened my first salon/boutique as well as beauty supply store over the years I relocated and expanded my area. But I wasn’t just a stylist I did nails lashes skin treatments messages waxing services barber services and a variety of weave techniques. Even though I had all the techniques under my belt I was in search for more late 2013 I enrolled in the instructor program and recently enrolled in the trichology program here in Atlanta. It may seem as if I would be living my dream and concurring goals but hair isn’t my passion it was just a gift to keep me financially stable on my journey of life.

I began sewing and making clothes for dance groups to perform back in 1998 again another trade my mom taught me as well with being the leader of my group id always come up with our outfits making sure everyone was on point. As it came into style recently I jumped back into making kids clothing and also a few things for myself id say I’m quite a bit of a stylist with fashion but again just a gift far from my passion but something I’m good at doing in my free time.

You would never in a million years think I could draw but being a cosmetologist and also a fashion designer you  must have the eye to create images to produce. It was a bit of interest when I was younger I now use that talent to design my logos and graphics for flyers and posters I made need done for a project. But nothing major id look forward to doing but a good gift to have.

Now I may have been known for doing hair but also performing when it came to dancing the game was over I did my thing if there was a show I was there!. As long as I had my team ready that’s all that mattered. I can say I was a bit of a take charge individual I was the leader of the group getting everything done from our hair outfits music and even the steps. I can remember circle city classic 1996 the first time we hit the stage in the Indianapolis RCA dome we changed the game as they had never seen a white girl get down lol. The crowed went crazy as we put on for our city and took the win one of the best times of my life and it b1150847_759588487387442_1898073231_negan from there. We didn’t win the showdown until 2000 but to take the win is what mattered of course we all grew older and apart but that didn’t stop me from dancing. I was in the local night club every second I could get making sure I was center of attention id definitely put on a show they almost lived for the moment of me getting in the cage. Hate to toot my horn but I stole the attention of many and with my clothes on at that lol I was great at putting on a show and lived for every moment of it most definitely a part of my passion and life long dream.

Being that I could dance would let you know that music is my passion my heart my everything my outlet my way of thinking. when it comes to music I sing rap and write and this here id say makes my heart beat the only thing is I lack my most important gift my voice. Singing has always been my passion growing up Whitney Houston was my inspiration my idol my everything and I’m honored to have gotten the chance to meet her when she came to my hometown many years ago one of the best moments of my life. I often strayed away from singing and would just rap a lot because I was often told my voice wasn’t good enough so I believed I could never do it. Often times your thought become things and that has been my end result I haven’t lived my dream letting everyone tell me I couldn’t but here lately I’ve been put in position to improve my ability and chase my dream.

So even tho hair is my life music is my passion and at this point in my life I have to make myself happy set aside some things and start living my dream instead of talking about it all the time. As long as I believe in me I can do anything no support was all the support I needed to get to the top!!!

 

D’Estin Perry

You don’t have to be a specialist. But you do have to be savvy. To be the best for your kids. You have to know something about everything . You have to become a generalist. You have to become a jack of all trades in order to give the best to your kids.

The 8 year bid

I use to often tell myself if I would have never gone out that night my life could have been a lot different in so many ways but today I’m thankful for making it through and being taught so many lessons.

February 22,2005 my life changed in so many ways I wasn’t prepared for me and my friend went out one night to have a few drinks seen a few guys sitting at the bar that asked us if we wanted drinks we were young at the time and guys buying drinks was a plus to us. We had just walked in and said let me go to the bathroom well be right back came back the drinks had been ordered and waiting at that moment that would be the last things I could remember about that after a few sips. I’d had a black out with no recollection of what happened the rest of the night after waking up the next morning me and my friend were trying to figure what had took place.

Being that we were drinkers we would party like crazy one drink wouldn’t have done that needless to say we went on about the next day laughed it off like we must have had a good night and left it at that. At the time I was dealing with a good friend and was getting pretty serious at least I thought kicking it pretty tough creating a slight buzz around the city nothing major. About a month went by and I’d started getting really sick you know how that was about to go off goes the green light here comes baby number 2. I’d already had a 1-year-old son his dad was in prison and pretty much out of the picture so the single mother life had already began for me at the age of 21. So time goes on and everyday I’m trying to figure out how to tell my guy friend that I was pregnant finally broke down and gave him that call and you know how dat goes when you’re not official or have a label.

As I told him his first response “THAT’S NOT MY BABY” at first I got quite like what? then proceeded to talk about the situation so sure that yes it is. Time went on and we left it as I’ll prove it to you. Months went by we didn’t have very much contact I was kinda upset about the fact he didn’t believe what I was telling him so time went on and about 7 months in I get a weird phone call asking me to come over he wanted to talk. I get up shoot by the house and he says hey come in have a seat asked was I hungry and began to ask how I’d been we started talking and he says so do you remember that night I met you at the bar with your home girl?. Boy when I tell you my heart started racing I’m like yeah why he said them drinks wasn’t right but I know thats my baby. when I tell you I broke down like a baby I got up ran out the door and left. I had no choice but to call my friend and let him know as I’m crying he’s like what’s the problem is the baby ok? I break it down to him as I’m apologizing but also in disbelief.

Ladies when I say that next month in a half was one of the most longest 6 weeks ever in my life the feeling of uncertainty is very unbearable I’m not sure how woman do it but me I didn’t think I could live with my self at that point. Here I was possibly pregnant by a complete stranger and not the guy I’d been dealing with for months and that it self was mind-boggling. Here it was october 29,2006 my friend had called and said come by its late I’m in bed crazy me I get up at 2am in the morning to drive all the way from Dupont rd to the south side smh the crazy things I use to do. Only to get there tired and I started feeling stomach pains and had to drive all the way back home after the argument because I was leaving. I get to Clinton st and saint joe as I’m driving my water broke I smashed on home grabbed my bag and drove to Dupont. Wasn’t there long pushed about 4 times and here he comes I’ve got my eyes closed as the doctors handing him to me. I asked Leah as I’m crying what he look like is his eyes blue only for her to say “NOPE” all I could do was say omg!!! the doctor handed him to me I pulled dat lip back and there was the gap.

I think I waited about 2 weeks after I got home to call him and let him know hey I’ve got your son and then it all began. I’ve always been the type if we have kids I want to be with the father I’d rather raise the kids together so I made that choice to jump on that roller coaster and that was one hell of ride I went on. All the cheating fussing fighting having to fight woman in the streets as well as fight a battle within my self to leave the unhealthy relationship.

It took awhile for me to finally reach my braking point I can recall going to the club one night with my friends the old club V and seeing him in there we weren’t talking at the time I’d caught him cheating a week before this. So I see him and he immediately says your leaving with me tonight I’m like oh here you go his favorite thing was to show out in front of his friends as he’s drunk falling over I’m like ok. We leave get to the house kids are sleeping my little sister was still up and all of a sudden he starts yelling typical he’d always do that when he’s drunk he would drink to the point of no return and I see he had it honest his father was an alcoholic so it ran deep in his blood.

Before I knew it I’d waken up but thought I was still dreaming because to my knowledge I was awake the problem was I couldn’t see I’d lost my eye sight. I sat up in the bed and started touching my face I was in so much pain and could feel lumps in my head and the puffiness from my face he’d beat me to the point I was unconscious. I ended up in the hospital and everyone kept asking what happened all I heard everyone saying was dang who did it his reply her friends she was with but knowing I’d left with him was the crazy part. I can remember the doctor coming in asking did I need the police and telling me I’d be ok but he wasn’t sure if I’d ever see again I had to do further testing. I left there with a broken nose and something I can’t remember was damaged inside my eyes and yes I stayed.

It took about 3 months I think maybe less after all the steroids and others things my sight had returned my vision is horrible now and every so often I’d get these headaches in my eyes but the fact that I lived was the most important. Time went on and not too much changed every time I said I was done I’d always end up right back  July 1,2008 yep here comes baby number 3 and I was still hanging in there until about late november 2008. I pull up mid day he’s with his friends had clearly been drinking that was normal for some reason we got to arguing at this point I’m like skip this I’m outta here as I’m walking to my car he comes up picks me up and slams me in the middle of the street like it was a WWE match smh I was 6 1/2 months pregnant my other 2 kids in the car. My body goes into shock I’d had a seizure after hitting my head on the ground I was told by his friends at least.

I was picked up and taken in the house but don’t understand why they left me on the couch for a few hours they said they thought I was sleep I guess that’s the outcome when you have been drinking not being very alert. Needless to say I ended up at park view after waking up id had a stroke and was paralyzed on my right side and I was told by the doctors id never walk again. Yeah shitting me I was thinking but can you imagine being almost 7 months pregnant not able to move within a blink of an eye? yeah that was me. I did therapy about 5 weeks and begged the doctors everyday to let me go home I ended up being sent home in a wheel chair and out-patient care but I wasn’t going to settle for that id been through hell and high water I was too determined to give up id been working hard and started to regain my feeling back and was back on my feet. Left a little damage to my knee but in all I was able to push when my son was born and again I lived.

So time passed by the fighting didn’t stop the drugs didn’t stop nore did the drinking until finally I said I’m done it took that one last time and my son to yell at him daddy stop why you always hitting my mommy. The pain in his eyes seemed like the same pain id had growing up and that was it it was the end of november 16,2010 we were no longer together but he always seemed to find his way to my house went on and on until january 1,2011 here comes baby number 4. that was the icing on the cake and the last time wed ever been that close again!!! I’d met someone else by this time and was trying to move on only to find out he had twins on the way a month before they were born but that’s another story Ill get back to. So I had my boy and a few weeks later I’d finally told him I moved on I’d reached my braking point and that what we had come to an end.

I could go on and on about the after math but to share what I have is more than enough and I’d like to take the time to say Ladies if you’re in a domestic relationship get out and get out now you may believe its love but love doesn’t hurt it’s very unhealthy not only for you but if you have children for them as well I lived you may not!!!

   D’Estin Perry

Late nights early mornings

It’s seems like there’s never enough time in the day like I just don’t get everything done sometimes. I’ve always been a night owl me and mornings really don’t get along so being a single mother is overwhelming at times often being up late no matter if I’m working on a project working or just up when morning comes it’s a hassle. I get up around 5:45 every morning get the four oldest up for school the three youngest out to the bus by 6:35am and my oldest at 7:35am. My Mondays are usually free days getting things done and ready for the week we keep a schedule and chore charts weekly so everyday the kids know exactly what we are going to do at all times. That makes it easier for me to keep things in order to.

But the hardest part is having all the kids involved in activities or sports trying to be in every place at once is very hard. So I try to manage everything according to what I can really do since the bigger boys are older and able to stay home alone that’s makes things a little easier to run here and there getting things done.

So I’ve learned that daily planning is the key for me long as we have a schedule it’s easier to keep things together. Seeing that I’m not good with time and often over sleep trying to get up in the morning getting my body in the habit of getting up and holding a schedule helps the issue of being up all night.

 D’Estin Perry

The Take Off!!!!!!

For quite sometime I’d already been ready to hit the road and move away from my hometown but always had an excuse on why I couldn’t just get up and go. One story or reason after another my kids dad didn’t want me to move or I was pregnant every other year and was scared to just go with just me and my boys alone. It took me years and years to just say ok I’m done had enough I’m to big for this small city.

I started packing up selling as much stuff as possible the summer of 2015 and as I was doing that it started to seem like lots of things had been going wrong for me the more that went wrong the more I was ready to go. Then after they announced the skating rink was closing that pretty much set the tone that was my only outlet to clear my mind around the city it seemed like. I’d gotten rid of just about as much as possible and started packing the house up boxes everywhere trying to minimize as much as I could giving things away as well. I finally gave in and said ok I’m serious I closed my salon that hit me so hard everything I invested I’d just given up on the drive was no longer there anymore with the lack of support just wasn’t in me to keep doing it.

At this point I had closed my salon house was packed and was just waiting for my kids to finish school I kept pushing it back further and further kept saying I was going to leave. Every month it was something different christmas was coming up my favorite holiday I had to get it out the way and I forced the issue staying another month again. Had worked hard 2 jobs a full-time assistant manager at Journeys and 3rd shift gig at Vera Bradley I had to get it spent about $4,000 on christmas did all I could just to see the smiles on their face that morning. See the thing is I make them wait all year for toys and big gifts I give them a party for their birthday and any and everything for christmas.

So we held on until january 16, 2016 I woke up to the smoke alarm going off I jumped up ran down stairs only to not see anything ran to the kitchen nothing was going to go back up stairs but I turned to the left and noticed flashing lights. So I walked over pushed the door and flames bussed into my face it was so much smoke I started to choke at that point I began to yell “DAD DAD get up” three of the boys was down stairs in the front room with two friends. I got them up and started to run up the stairs the two youngest were still sleeping I grabbed my babies and flew back down and out the front door after the fire department finally cleared everything and told us grab what you can I’m going to condemn this house. My heart sank knowing there was no one that was going to have our back my mind began to race where the hell were we going to go and what was I going to do only to walk in and look in the room everything I’d just got them for christmas was now gone.

I then had no choice but to mentally fix my mind and say grab a few things your time is up I grabbed my purse my phone and left at that point all roads led to Atlanta Georgia. Took me a few weeks to get my goodbyes in a few more things sorted out and my mind ready for what I was about to endure for about a month I was up and down the highway at least once a week with all five boys I took $1,000 got everybody a few outfits some shoes and things we would need right away. I had $9,000 left thinking ok ill go get a crib and in no time bounce back but nope wasn’t that easy at all hotel after hotel we stayed in for months it began to get frustrating dragging my boys around and basically living out of our vehicle. Until I looked up and my account said $4,200 I’d spent $5,000 in hotels and hundreds on food and gas I knew I had to slow it down and  I tried to play it smart but me being me I kept pushing hoping and praying I would find a house soon. Looked up again a few weeks later only for my account to say $2,800 I started to panic I was spending with nothing coming in crazy I was in a place so far away so many times I said just go home and find help.

Needless to say I stayed my pride was to big to ask for help I didn’t want anyone to know what was really going on I just knew id get right soon. I finally broke down and called back home I’d found a house and gotten approved with only one issue I was short $800 so I called only to have the doors slammed in my face a good reason I didn’t want to ask. This is when I had to bite down and give all I had to god at this point I had $1,600 left not knowing when I’d make more money by this time it was april 3rd,2016 I had no child support coming in hadn’t gotten any food stamps since last november just no help at all. At this point I said ok let me budget what I did is something no mother should ever have to endure I took a few bucks got snacks filled up the truck to make sure they had things to get by went to Walmart bought a few blankets and pillows and filled up the tank and was left with $1,200.

We literally at that point lived out of the truck I’d find things for the kids to do during the day like the park or burger king play area if it was rainy while I searched for places knowing I didn’t have it all but just hoping I get approved and some way things would work out. After it would get dark I’d drive around put a movie on until they would fall asleep then it would be easy for me to pull over somewhere and get an hour or two in before I would fill up and drive around again. The worse part about that is being somewhere and you see a big light flashing only for the police to ask what you’re doing and to know you couldn’t say much beside oh I’m from out of town I got tired so I pulled over. By this time I’d looked up and my balance was damn near $400 left nowhere to go my kids asking what I was doing all the time I had to figure it out I found a few people I’d knew and was able to stay a few nights shower get cleaned up and back out to keep looking.

I’d finally realized I was getting emails about free night stays from staying in the hotels so much I had points man that was a sign of relief. I had like 4 nights free I took that and got us a room only to look and see I only had $100 left at that point I made that call to someone I knew wouldn’t ask no questions and he didn’t I didn’t tell him what I need it for I didn’t say much but hey I need your help and with no questions asked I had the money within a few hours. I broke down and knew without a doubt he was one of the realist friends I’ve ever had in my life and my return for him will be great!!!!!.

But that money didn’t last long it was gone within a few days down to my last dollars and one more night to stay in the room I started crying and my kids said mom whats wrong I just looked away feeling so empty and broken I was lost trying to figure it all out so I got up talk to my boys letting them know we were gonna be good soon they all looked at me and smiled and began to ask for stuff lol. A few days later it hit me hard I was broke no more money not very much gas I didn’t know what was next. I was driving and they were like mom we hungry and I’m like ok pulled over only to have like $4.25 in my wallet cari was crying I was frustrated I got out and had my two oldest get out so we could talk I explained to them I didn’t have enough and we had to let the babies eat first and they said ok that’s fine. As I pulled up to McDonalds I’m thinking like dang this is crazy what am I going to do. I pull over let them watch a movie and they fall asleep it was a bit of relief I was able to think for a few hours.

Only for the next morning to roll around me and the oldest still had not eaten but they were all looking at me saying mom when are we going to eat only to look at them and say I don’t know. That was one of the most heartbreaking feelings I’d ever had in my life I’d failed as a mother and had no one to blame but myself it was at that point I had to figure something out I got on my phone searching trying to find club jobs or something quick and at that point I had no choice. Found a cousin here took the kids over for a few hours and hit the club it took me about an hour to actually go out there but after sitting there knowing my kids were hungry I said skip it.

Walked out and I was trying to hide sitting in the corner didn’t want to really be seen I’d met this guy was really nice just wanted to talk I’m like ok you cool he asked me was I new I said yeah and went from there we exchanged numbers and I began to chill until he called my name it was like ok you up next I got up took a swallow and hit the stage before I knew it was 3am time to close. I ran got my things and hit the door and was in a hurry to go get my kids just so I could get them something to eat I picked them up about 4am and hit waffle house another sign of relief I started to count the money I couldn’t believe I was out there for three hours and left with around $850.

The next morning I went and got a room so we would have a place to sleep that night I started calling around until finally I called my brother I’m not sure what I’d been thinking again letting my pride get in my way. We ended up crashing there for a while and gave me a little more time to get my bread back together and back on my search I’d ran into a few people by this time did a few hosting gigs and was starting to create a little buzz nothing major. One night I run to get the kids some waffles and I met this guy lol some of you would never believe he was tall about 6″5 dark skin I mean very dark and kinda husky he stopped me and was like hey are you ok whats your name. At first I wanted to say get away from me but I talked to him and needless to say we are now very good friends and he’s been a great blessing to me and my kids.

Well things didn’t start to look up for me until around the middle of june I found another house finally talk to the lady and moved in boy oh boy it was the best feeling in the world after everything we been through loosing everything up and down the highway sleeping in my truck to not having any food to moving into a 3,000 square foot home. Yes were starting over but its only the beginning and god has something so big for me I understand now that he needed to move everything out of my way so that I could receive what he’s about to give me. Things has still been rough and I’m still working on this bounce back but I’m now stronger than I’ve ever been realizing my past taught me so many lessons and I can’t do anything but look back with nothing but forgiveness in my heart while thanking everyone I held grudges with. There’s no room for me to carry it so I’ve released it all to make room to take in my blessings he’s been placing in front of me.

As I finish this story up I can say I know so many that say  they can’t do it but trust me I did and with five on my own and have no plans to ever look back I’m at peace and I feel free like my life has just began. Never give up anything is possible he gives his hardest  battles to his strongest soldiers and that I believe and I always say they didn’t believe in me in my hometown so I had to pick up and go elsewhere.

 

                                                                       D’Estin Perry

Roller dome south

Where it all went down I started skating back in the 80’s couldn’t tell me nothing I had these little  pink and white Barbie skates for years . But it wasn’t until I was about ten is when the rink started popping for me it started with all night skating woooo if you were going all night skating you were popping!. It seemed like it was a long week waiting to go just to show out get dressed and hit the wheels . It went down in that Thang I tell you that if you could skate boyyyyy you were definitely the shit and once 12am came and they cleared the floor to dance mannnnnnnn it got real because if you could dance that topped it all off!. But let about 3am roll around you knew what time it was Mook was walking around with that flashlight shining it in your face trying to see who was dry humping or what not lol it went down . You most definitely knew who all the hoes were at that point I can remember getting my first hickey by my Lil boyfriend “Chris Wilson” lol my momma seen that I couldn’t go skating for about a month I was pissed . I can remember all them kids that never had a ride walking home seemed like along walk but he’ll it would be like 50 kids walking down Bluffton at 7am in the morning geared up lmao . Then it was the 18 and up crowd they started getting roofless it would be litty af tho again especially if you were showing out on them wheels you were popping!. I think back then it was the era of the “HOT BOYS “”21” “NAUTI BOYS””7 FIG” I can’t remember anymore oh wait one just came to mind “ELMO” or something like Dat but needless to say it got ugly after the rink was closed it would start at the rink and lead up to Amoco . We Called It the strip lol everybody would post up until the Police made us leave or until a fool decided to start shooting then the night would end . Over the years the roller dome died down and wasn’t very popular anymore only people still going is what seemed to be real skaters now don’t get me wrong I think all night skating was still rocking for the kids but far as the way we use to rock it was dead . So I would still do family night with my boys every Tuesday night it’s like my kids lived for it couldn’t wait they knew every Tuesday to be ready by 6:30pm lol . But that all came to an end early August 2015 the 6th I think to be exact they closed roller dome south for good but before they did I was left n11825077_1035282946484660_5715394737970422856_not only with memories I gained a few stitches that night tripped over some beads and split my chin wide open smh so many memories left behind it was an outlet for me and my boys every week!! Some still had birthday parties every so often we even still hit the rink on Thursday nights for adult night . They took a major part from the hood when they closed that place I know a few people who wanted to buy it but I heard rumors of them not wanting to sell to blacks or didn’t want the competition with Roller dome north all in all I feel like it wasn’t a very smart move it seems like the south side of town has nothing left it’s kinda like a ghost town no food places no stores no mall nothing if you want anything you gotta head north just sad . Now that we’ve moved to the A the kids are putting our routine back in our week hitting Cascade once a week but believe me ROLLER DOME SOUTH will always be my stomping grounds .

 

 D’Estin Perry

Wal-mart vs Target

For me I’ve always been a Wal-Mart shopper seems like they always had better deals on everything and after they started price matching it was over . The only downside to Wal-Mart is sometimes the fruit or vegetables might not be fresh but for the most part it’s a go . I love catching the fresh mark downs it’s always a lot of great deals far as kids clothing and toys go you can never go wrong in that area especially when you have five boys growing like crazy at that . It’s very rare I find good things at target at a decent price but I can and will say some items are better quality but a little out of my league when it comes to price range for me . As a single mother I do a lot of bargain shopping it’s kinda mandatory when your on a set budget or know what you can afford at that time . I have to shop smart to make sure everyone gets what they need . I’ve try ed jumping into the coupon world a few times but could never really get the hang of it plus it seemed like it was so many restrictions on using them in stores such as Walmart or Target . Another downside to Target they’ve just now began the whole grocery part and it just isn’t a very big selection I feel like if they want to compete with Walmart they definitely need to expand . But in all in all wal.art still gets my vote just seems to fit my budget a lot better than Target helps save when it comes to being a single mother as well .

         D’Estin Perry