Just wasn’t time yet

That moment you find out your pregnant it’s either the happiest time in your life, the scariest moment or the saddest moment. Well for me id say since I already had five what else could scare me at this point id say it was one of the happiest times in my life in the past  year. after all I’ve been through why not let some joy into my life and right away I just knew this was it IT’S A GIRL!!!!!! but seems like god had other plans. Even tho it seemed so right at the time to me it really wasn’t the right time after all with so much going on with my daily living how in the world could I manage this.

I’d already began to be tired body was killing me and even started to look a little full appetite was picking up my left breast had swollen face had started breaking out like crazy I felt like the ugliest woman walking lol. But I started having nightmares scary dreams and could never sleep through the night I was so uncomfortable already was kinda weird to be honest. So after doing my calculations and cross checking last menstrual cycle I was just a few days shy away from 5 weeks.

So knowing me I had to google Chinese Birth Chart and guess what is said? yep GIRL!!!!. So at this point it was how do I hide this long enough before I spill the beans lol I was to excited a few days go by I start having more thoughts and desires of how this would all be the best part of my life yet my family will finally be complete.

and here we go July 21st 2017, around 5:40pm id just taken a shower and was getting dressed and started to feel these crazy pains in my back that was in my stomach as well every few minutes. I kinda blew it off and finished up and as I sat down I felt a drops of blood coming down at this point it was the scariest moment in my life.

I called him asap like bae you gotta come home and even tho he worked 30 minutes from the house seems like he was there in ten minutes. we headed to the hospital got everything checked and yep there it was I was having a miscarriage my heart fell in to my stomach wishing to hear things were going to be ok. I’m just unsure how id gotten so attached so fast maybe just the mother in me I guess.

But boy the next few days were like id been run over by a bus several times back pains were killing me something id never felt before I had no appetite upset stomach and just extremely tired for about a week. even tho all pregnancy symptoms went away pretty fast it’s still that lingering question why? I’ve tried to come up with every reason in the book but still sits on my mind every once in a while.

My life is so close to being complete I have the man of my dreams my kids are amazing kids goals are on track and things are falling in to place everyday so where’s lil D’Estin?. So yep baby fever but I still have so much more to do so many goals to finish so as I take these next steps ill keep my faith and know that in due time she will be here to end the final chapter of our family soon.

Dear Grandma Josie

Well its been awhile and so much has changed but one thing I can’t seem to get out of my head is the last image of you before the casket closed. I just don’t understand never in a million years did I think you would go so soon.

3rd grade grand parents day
3rd grade grand parents day!! She had just had surgery on her eyes but was there without a doubt!!!!!



My oldest nasty and my baby brother my life lines.
My oldest nauty and my baby           brother my life lines.

You were the strongest person I’d ever met in my life with the heart of lion I’d give anything to just talk to you right now just to call and tell you your nauty is a teenager now,  boy I know your face would  light up like the sun. Man oh man I could go on forever about you but


I’m still a little speechless and I know I shouldn’t  question his work but this one here Ill never understand.

Me Bo and Marus
Me Bo and Marus


When I got the call about you being sick I brushed it off because I just knew you would pull through like you always did . You were unstoppable would a have a surgery today and be playing ball tomorrow we didn’t always see eye to eye but I know you meant well through it all man do I miss you old woman so many memories playing back in my mind I can hear you now yelling “HOT DAMN” or “COME EAT ITS SUPPER TIME”.

You would make us scrub your feet or squeeze these nasty black heads on your back I use to be so mad like mom I don’t wanna go to grandma house lol. I remember you would always sing this song to joi and I’d be so mad like why don’t I have a song? so you would sing it to me and change her name “GIVE ME DEE SO I KNOW I CAN MAKE IT”. Lol just had a lot on my mind decided to write you a letter we miss you down here but I know you  my grandma and uncle David up there having a ball. I wonder how many times aunt Margaret done kicked your butt in checkers man oh man until we meet again I love you grandma Josie.



Love Dee


I’ve learned to except the fact I will continuously loose people in my life that’s not meant to be over the years I’ve lost plenty of friends and family that I thought was always going to be by my side.  I’ve noticed that some may only appear for that season or be there for a specific reason in my life at that time. I’ve learned to understand it instead of always questioning his ways I recently made a vision board and began reading a lot about the laws of attraction and since then some things on my vision board has already manifested.

Its kinda shocking because I already believe it just makes it more interesting to see how much power I actually have over my life in so many ways my thoughts really become things  kinda scary but in a good way. It also helps me to keep a more positive attitude and mind state because thinking negative thoughts constantly will attract just that. So I constantly remind my self of my vision and try to stay focus it seems the more I do I also attract the people I need to help me get to where I need to be. Its like my thoughts equal creations if these thoughts are attached to powerful emotions good or bad that speeds the creation.

Thoughts are magnetic, and thoughts have frequency. As you think thoughts, they are sent out into the Universe, and they magnetic all attract all like things that are on the same frequency. Everything sent out returns to the source-you.

I recently decided to hang up my Marcels for a Mic finally but some way some how I keep getting pulled back into the hair business some way some how. Its just one thing I can’t put my finger on it I don’t feel like its my destiny but how am I to know that I’ve always been interested in hair I was born and raised into a salon and a family full of beauticians so I knew the craft very well. But I’ve never had a passion for it it’s not something I love doing at all but some way some how it’s still showing up in every season of my life.

Just recently revamped my brand and began to rebuild my online business and local business as well I’m not sure where I’m going with it do I want another salon or just stay steady with where I am. I’ve never been the one to half do anything or not go all out when I vision something it’s usually bigger then normal so I’m not going to underestimate myself I’m sure ill have another salon and partake in the bronner brothers events in the near future. They say the third times a charm I’ve owned two salons and don’t feel like I was very successful the way I wanted to be all tho they say failure is apart of success ill stand tall and welcome my new ventures as they come.

So as of now Perry Stylez presents P.S. I love You, offering hair caIMG_20160719_161355re and fashion needs bringing you from hair to fashion. I’ve focused in on my product line the “Regrowth Candy Collection” this line of products are all hand-made as of now I offer a cream moisturizer with a blend of all natural ingredients such as almond oil, Shea butter, vegetable glycerin and essential oil just to name a few




I’ve also been adding more products to the line as well that will be available this winter to purchase. Also available on the site I have my mink Indian virgin hair also available in a variety of textures from bundles to lace wigs, closures, frontals and also 360 lace bands as well. So keep an eye out as I rebuild in this season in the meantime still being a mother and working on my music as well “QUITTERS NEVER WIN WINNERS NEVER QUIT”. Something I heard not to long ago and I chant it often to keep me motivated I know my real journey has just begun.


D’Estin Perry

The Rockhill Massacre

Hearing about the ongoing violence in my city brings back lots of memories when it hits to close to home. I recently heard about one of the latest shootings back home a triple homicide and as I listened to the many different stories I began to zone out with nothing but thoughts running through my mind of the night we lost MC. It all played it self all over again.

On september 28,2002 was one of the scariest moments of all time I’ve ever encountered I was the last person to hug him and the last person to hold on to his hand as he laid there helpless. But I can say he seemed at peace no struggle no fighting he just laid there I can remember lifting up his shirt to see where he was hit and to not be able to understand the wounds they looked so small all I could say was you good its nothing I just kept saying it over and over in his ear. It was so much going on so many people standing around with so many screams and yells I was confused on to run and check on everyone else or stay there and hold on to him.

I looked over and seen a friend’s sister standing there next to me and she had on scrubs so I was thinking maybe she’s some type of nurse I looked up and I asked her if she could sit right there with him while I checked on everyone in the house so I laid his head down and got up. After checking on everyone in the house I came back out mind you about 10 minutes later there were more screaming so many crying and the police just standing around looking at us all. I started yelling why aren’t you doing anything where’s the ambulance?  I walked back over to him and at that time the girl had sat down and was rubbing his head I looked and I yelled his name grabbed his hand and he was squeezing so tight.

At this point I called my uncle to tell them what was going on it had been about 30 minutes as he lay out there in the street in the downtown area with no ambulance in sight to this day I’m not sure why none of us thought to take him to the hospital our self because by time they got there he was just taking his last few breaths. I never got the understanding of what really happened at the hospital or why they couldn’t save him he held on until he got there so ill never understand it at all.

10678816_10101373543036123_8071797333129030974_nWhat I do know is that we gave him one hell of a celebration the streets was filled with nothing but laughs crying and joy MC was loved by so many it was crazy and until this day everyone still keeps it lit for him. The good times ill never forget the memories the laughs still plays over and over in my mind and the famous words I can hear him yelling when he seen me “WHATS CRACKIN” and don’t let it be a fight all you heard was MC yelling “GET IT CRACKIN” Man oh man the days now these are true 7 figg days for real we were not a gang we were a family that was just very big and I’m glad to see all of my cousins doing well and great  so again RIH MC!!!!!! MY FIGGA MY FIGGA.

 D’Estin Perry

Sending prayers to my city as i know they’re hurting right now from all sides and directions i pray that they all come together soon theres nothing worse then a fatherless child

This story was just to sum up a short memory of that night but will be continued in possible detail in my book that will be soon to come. 

Fit Mommy

Like any other mom who wouldn’t want to be fit or in shape after having a baby or two or lets say 5 yeah I know right. Theres already not enough time in the day to get things done so how do you manage to squeeze in a workout plan? It’s all about time and managing your options it’s also about devoting yourself to get the job done and staying motivated throughout the process. Some often give up because they don’t see results right away but that takes lots of time and dedication plus eating the right foods as well.

I try to workout at least three days a week I have yet to really change my diet to a healthier plan but seeing how I was on a weight gain journey the last year I was literally eating everything I possibly could to pack on the pounds. I’d also drink protein shakes twice a day to help with the extra calories as well as eating peanut butter jelly sandwiches before bed and a few times during the day

I recently started jogging something I’ve never done trying to really target my legs which is a major area I need to tone up as well as my stomach area so as I keep my three days a week for now ill soon be moving it to four days a week. Which will end up very challenging with my boys and daily activity so I always chant to my self “winners never quit and quitters never win” something I’ve heard recently that stuck to my mind and it helps me stay motivated to get the job done. My goal weight is 150 solid and toned up I’m currently 138 so I’ve got just a few pounds to go

4eb6a36113707d84a913d97789de84afThe energy and the good feeling I get knowing I’m in shape is motivation in its self because trust me being a single mother of five boys is very exhausting so the energy is needed at all times as well as good health to keep up with my active athletes. So I’m currently going to be adding a few extra meal plans in place to get gains over the next few months and this should also be very challenging  as well cant wait to see how it goes. To all my fit mommies that’s ready I challenge you to get fit what are you waiting for times waits on no one take the challenge.


D’Estin Perry 

Failure is not an option

The sweetest victory is the one that’s most difficult.4 The one that requires you to reach down deep inside, to fight with everything you’ve got, to be willing to leave everything out there on the battlefield—without knowing, until that do-or-die moment, if your heroic effort will be enough. Society doesn’t reward defeat, and you won’t find many failures documented in history books.

I was once that one yelling “Failure Is Nt An Option”, until I noticed I’ve already failed a few times opening and closing businesses started online stores and companies and not reaching the full potential of success. I was always afraid to fail not wanting anyone to say things I once cared what others would think until I realized who I really was and what I was capable of doing. At that point my life changed I’m no longer afraid to admit I’ve failed but the point is I’m still going.

“The quickest road to success is to possess an attitude toward failure of ‘no fear.’ ”

Now that I’ve reached my full potential and I’m pushing myself beyond measure I feel like any and everything is possible. So I’m fearless to starting over and again and again until I get it right.

The exceptions are those failures that become steppingstones to later success. Such is the case with Thomas Edison, whose most memorable invention was the light bulb, which purportedly took him 1,000 tries before he developed a successful prototype. “How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?” a reporter asked. “I didn’t fail 1,000 times,” Edison responded. “The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”

Even though I’m multi talented I’ve finally took on a challenge to focus on one thing more than the others. I feel like if I can be successful in one the rest will follow so ill focus on that one until I’ve mastered that craft.

“One of the biggest secrets to success is operating inside your strength zone but outside of your comfort zone.”

D’Estin Perry

Entrepreneur Mom

Everyone always ask me how do I do it but it’s not about how I do it it’s about what I believe I can do walking by faith and keeping an open mind-set while doing it. No dream is to big and if your dream doesn’t scare you then why are you chasing it? I was told many ofttimes I couldn’t open my own salon alone and yet I did it and twice along with a boutique and beauty supply as well.

Growing up I watched one of my favorite aunts Helen Collins open up her enterprise and from then I always had a vision to have my own enterprise some day. Every time I went to the shop id say aunt Helen when your old can you give this to me? I don’t think she realized how serious I was or how much she influenced and motivated my mind. Over the years I sat and would always draw up plans and things I wanted in my salon.

June 1,2012 id finally found a place which seemed to be reasonable and I was told it was going to be getting renovated soon but I still had some renovating to do my self but I still took on the challenge. it took me so603915_677305835615708_2029777727_nme time to actually complete tho project at the time I hadn’t fully graduated just yet and was in and out of an unhealthy relationship and was not focusing on my goal over the next few months I slowly got things together and had a grand opening April 2013.

I ran into a few short issues but nothing I couldn’t get past and very quickly around the same time I also purchased a beauty supply store I figured I could be running
as well. Things were going great money was ok and I got hit 970381_677305895615702_1031368430_nwith some news I was pregnant june 2013 and also single with 4 other boys as well. Due to my pregnancy complications I would be in and out of the shop over the next few months and in september I decided to enroll in the instructors program which also became a hit and miss with me being pregnant was hard to attend on a regular as well.

Id say around late october id ran into an issue with my salon city code had come
out did an inspection and condemn the building which left me with the only option to relocate after all the time and energy and money id invested I was forced to move. That didn’t stop me I was back up and running in a better location in no time I was back up and running but juts didn’t have the passion for it anymore the lack of support and respect around the community just didn’t drive me to continue running the business. Id began researching more into what it was id been saying I wanted to do which was become a Trichologist.

Trichologists are hair and scalp specialists (one type of skin specialist) who diagnose the causes of hair fall, hair breakage, hair thinning, miniaturization of hairs ; diseases of the scalp and treat according to cause. Trichology is the branch of dermatology that deals with the scientific study of the health of hair and scalp.

So yeah pretty cool huh I figured why waste my time with the salon when I can gain more knowledge in my field and help millions and expand my business and brand in the future. So I’ve since closed my salon moved to Atlanta enrolled in the trichology program started my product line and I’m pursuing an even bigger dream. I’m currently working on my product line “P.S. I LOVE YOU REGROWTH  SYSTEM” and I’m planning to relaunch this coming fall starting with the candy cream and the sugar drops.


I’ve put all my other ventures on hold to focus on this one product research after research night after night coming up with very ingredient to best fit to grow healthy longer thicker hair. Which will help millions one day soon and be one of the leading regrowth systems in the country sold in stores nationwide. My love for hair won’t stop here ill soon open another business to be able to teach classes possibly a beauty school for the less fortunate that’s been in m y thoughts lately but not plan set just yet.

So being an entrepreneur and mother of five isn’t easy at times can get very overwhelming as well and as most know cosmetologist are some of the most unorganized people I know lol I have yet to meet one who is very organized. When it all comes down to it your success  is determined by what you are willing to sacrifice for it and how much you can really learn from your failures. They always say third times a charm so my next move ill bet will and has been my best move yet.

D’Estin Perry

Mommy Melt Down

No one understands that even the strongest people sometimes breakdown even tho I’ve been doing well and trying to stay focused reading up on lots of knowledge that’s needed. I endured some bad news a few days ago I woke up in great spirits and ready for the day and challenges I had coming my way and I myself don’t do well when I feel overwhelmed. I tend to pull away and stay to myself until I’m back to feeling like I’m ready to deal with people again and that’s a very bad habit to have. Sometimes people don’t understand or may think I become distant but in so many ways I just shut down until I feel like I’ve solved the problem.

Being a single mother a lot of times I get over whelmed with daily life getting up at 5:30am every morning to get the kids ready for school to making sure my toddler is content through out the day while doing housework and handling business until the kids return home around 3pm. Which then allows me a little more free time to get things done in the house while the older kids entertain my toddler. We have 4pm homework time and every hour after that is scheduled until 9pm which is their bedtime and even though I have a schedule that helps it still seems like there is just not enough time in the day to do it all my self.

19ec175995cd407166a04ab606e29306I often feel like I’m gonna leave someone behind or not get something done so I over work my self trying to focus on it all not giving myself a chance to breathe. I’ve learned that no one can do it all alone but being that I am without that option I tend to usually over work my self into exhaustion. So being emotional doesn’t help when there’s no time to focus on others problems being who I am I’ve learned to let go of a lot of things and very easy. I look for signs often whether it’s in a person or a situation I feel may go wrong I now tend to go the other way. When you learn that negativity can block so many blessings you’ll have a very easy mindset and be able to tend to lean more towards positive people or situations.

I’ve started reading lots of books lately and watching videos as well as seminars on life which gives me knowledge to grow my surroundings. I’ve also began a vision board to help set my ultimate goals and dreams in place to make sure I stay on track everyday and maintain a positive and healthy mindset. I have also placed my self around more positive wealthy people that encourages me everyday to reach higher standards and often I still seem to fall short with a mental breakdown trying to take it all in.

So like they say even the strongest people need to breakdown every once in a while and the worst part about being strong is that no one ever ask if your ok.

D’Estin Perry

Dangerously In Love

Have you ever been in love so deep that you’d give your all to a person not realizing that person wouldn’t give the same in return? Have you ever loved someone so deep everything that went wrong in your relationship you thought was your fault? Have you ever tried to change who you were to satisfy someone else’s needs? Have you ever put someone else first before yourself even your children thinking it was love?

After so many years of realizing it wasn’t me it was too late id have to deal with this person the rest of my life. It was an emotional roller coaster up and down back and forth it was times I wouldn’t eat couldn’t sleep my mind would constantly be racing trying to figure out the problem in my relationship. You can almost say we were separated more than we were together but the show he would put on for Facebook seemed like nothing was wrong at all. Everyone thought I was so happy and we looked so good together not realizing how small I was or the type of tears id shed at any giving moment.

The person id met was not by all means the person he had become with in a few short months id seen signs but ignored them like usual I didn’t analyze the situation at all I was so fragile at the time trying to find away out of my last relationship. He’d come to me and said “I got you ill never let him do anything to you again” hell I was so impressed it was like a night and shining armor had walked into my life and boy did he play his role had my head gone. He was doing things no man had ever done running bath water brining flowers cooking dinner taking walks he had even put a little sign in the fridge asking to marry him and talked about it all the time.

He was busy doing things like that I missed the signs for one they say the same way you get them is the same way you’ll lose them and yet it was the truth. Here I was thinking he was gods gift until his kids mother reached out decided she wanted to talk seeing how I was raising her kids I didn’t see why not yea I said I see someone can take as many pictures as they want but after the picture is taken what happens to the rest of the time. So she would stop by or call my phone quite frequently and I didn’t feel like it was a big deal until she started telling me the ends and outs and I must say it all sounded so familiar he wasn’t anything special after all the same things he did for me he did for her only thing was he hadn’t really left yet.

So moving on things still were the same for a while and I kept in touch with her to until shit started becoming more and more obvious all the Facebook tagging sending pictures to his phone random text messages them talking for long periods at a time yea I wasn’t a fool things began to get rocky. All the cheating and finding out things id just blow it off because it was an image I was so in love with showing the world how happy I was I couldn’t let anyone know it wasn’t working out and yet I ignored the signs. Id been warned about the things he had done to other females but I ignored them as well until I found my feet dangling from the ground and my kids at the top of the steps yelling and crying “please stop” or the time I was drug down a flight of stairs and out to the car only to take off as I’m holding on.

But again I ignored the signs even to the point of him not liking my son he would always get upset whenever I picked him up would yell at me telling me I was holding him to much wouldn’t let him sleep or lay with me at all. Yea my baby was a bit of a crier but he even started making me put him in a room in the crib and make him cry his self to sleep often id find myself doing this even when he wasn’t home. Id started hearing stories he was telling his friends he would put my son in the dryer when I wasn’t home to scar him but I never believed that at all. I felt the tension but tried to convince my self it was my baby I was loosing myself as a mother putting a man first and not realizing it at the time. There was a time he came in and we started fighting he’d through a set of keys that hit the wall and cut my baby in the face and as he walked out after looking at my son bleeding I then knew every feeling id felt was wrong.

Things only began to get worse at this point and I just went on with my life letting it take its course one day we were together the next he was telling the world I was a crazy monster. But the thing I didn’t understand was why he wanted someone so crazy to have his child mind-boggling huh?. We ended up braking up for good june 10 2013  and what do you know I was pregnant and down hill I went I was in position to buy a house and had been looking for a while I had gotten to sick and ended up going to stay with his mother for a while to save a little more money and find something before the baby came.

Man oh man it only got worse as the time went on he’d come by in the middle of the night popping up whenever he felt like it would lay right up under my ass only to get up and post a pic with his new girlfriend the next morning shit was crazy I honestly think I was brainless at this time. Until I got the call from the new chick crying about what he had done to her and only for the story to sound so similar I chuckled asking her what it was she wanted me to in reply she hung up after that.

Things went on and my pregnancy had gotten real it was finally time january 27 2014 I got up at 4am it was a blizzard outside didn’t feel like shoveling my truck out so got the car ready got all the kids grabbed my bag and headed to take the kids to the daycare only to get stuck in the snow for 2 hours. I was in labor stuck calling everyone I could even him until some mexican came and pulled my car out I dropped the kids off and headed to hospital. I got settled and called his mom she walked in with his sister right on time I had began to push no sign of him anywhere she cut my baby’s cord and then here he comes walking in the door.

Felt like a dark cloud had come in he didn’t stay long just enough time to get a picture and was out the door. Even though my son was his twin he still told the same story “he wasn’t his and he wanted a blood test” my emotions were threw the roof the next day after having him I had to leave the hospital the nurses thought I was crazy  and didn’t want to sign my release so I grabbed my baby packed my stuff went to the daycare picked up my other kids and went home.

Needless to say their were so many chain of events that took place over the next few years to the world I was created into this crazy bitter baby momma that I wasn’t. Id given him fame from my name bringing him to the surface now everyone wanted to join the wave to see what the ride was like not stopping to look at the bigger picture of the chain of events that was and had been taking place. No one noticed the patterns he had and how many times it changed up but all they knew was Facebook and the entertainment that was being displayed.

One thing I learned from it is that a real man would never bash the mother of his children no matter the relationship they have a real man will never give another woman the power to bring down his child’s mother or put her in harm’s way knowing she has his child or children a real man would never need Facebook or the world to justify his life by trying to gain assurance from others. Now ask yourself this I often here the bitter baby momma story but is there a such thing as a bitter baby daddy?

to be continued…………………………………………………..

D’Estin Perry

Sunday Funday


You already know what that means house work while music playing  food cooking and getting ready for the week. This week things start to get rough but the schedule will still be in place the boys got football practice dance practice and a few more extra activities not even including things I have to do. It’s almost like I look back sometimes and wonder how did I get through that week but knowing I’m blessed and put him first keeps me going.
I’ve got a great blessing in the making and still can’t believe it but I’ve always said he had something for me but just didn’t know what it was. So many doors have began to open up for me since my move and just recently I had an issue with my truck I had been trying to get it resolved. Id bought a vehicle from a janky car place in Indiana before I moved and had a few issues with getting paperwork done on it and Id been without a vehicle for a few weeks.

Can you imagine being without a vehicle living in Atlanta yea I know right it’s almost impossible. Well to make a long story short a blessing came right on time someone id met a while ago prior to moving here called me and said hey I got something I want you to see so I went by and he’d bought me a new vehicle only for me to be surprised id never had anyone do anything and not to that nature for me and my boys. So when I say blessings on top of blessings its time to take heed what he’s doing for me I’ve got a clear mind and have let go of so much negativity and I feel great about it all.

When god is showing you signs be sure not to miss them pay attention to them all and count every blessing letting go of negativity and hate will often open up more room for your blessings to have. Remind yourself daily of the value you carry and the worth you hold as well as never settling for anything or lowering your standards for your happiness. My past defines who I’ve become and how strong I am I was born to battle and won many wars and just over come the biggest battle Id thought Id had yet. Only for me to realize it was all a test  run to insure for the next season .

I feel like nothing but greatness is on its way and I’m ready to receive it all with open arms and a clear mind. Just when I thought 2016 had been the worst for  me he reminded me that it wasn’t over yet and the best was yet to come. My breakthrough is now the moment Id been living for is here and I couldn’t be more happy. So as always stay encouraged never give up and once you ask you must believe to be able to receive stay blessed everyone happy sunday.

             D’Estin Perry